lack of ambition?

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted to this blog. I’ve been wondering what the reason for that is. Is it simply a lack of time? Or is it a lack of ambition? I’m not sure. The dictionary definition of ambition is “an ardent desire for rank, fame or power” or “desire to achieve a particular end”. I think this is somewhat true. I’m not sure I desire fame and power, but I do need to feel worthy and I have goals in life to work toward. Why do I not constantly work toward my goals?

I do know that I don’t seem to have as much time for myself as I did a few years ago. I started this blog as a way to get some new content to our indenation website. It was easier than constantly writing code and lots of people are writing blogs now, so why not me. Jon and I haven’t done too much with the site since “special night” ended its run, so we’re calling it a day with that project. I started doing some archiving of a lot of that site content recently and I was fondly recalling those projects. They aren’t the greatest gems of cinema, but I do remember that I really enjoyed doing them. I’m also really proud of them for what they were at that time for me. I’ve never felt like I knew what I was doing, but maybe that’s what it’s all about. Never really knowing how to do anything and working toward something. Maybe life is just that in general.

Regardless of what it all means, I know that I’m going to try to do some writing this year. Last year was a hard year personally and I didn’t do any writing or video work at all. I posted some blog posts, but I never really sat down and did much beyond that. But at least I did that. I think my goals are smaller than they may have been in the past, which is why I’m feeling like I have a lack of ambition, but at least there are some goals to work toward. I really wish I was a rich and famous filmmaker but I’m not. I don’t deserve to be either because I haven’t put the work into that. I have a great job at the Walt Disney Company and I’m very grateful for it. I enjoy working there and I love my work. It’s surprising to me really when I think about it. I never thought I’d end up doing what I’m doing, but I love it. BUT, I also enjoy writing, film/video and website stuff too. I’m not sure I’ll ever regain the ambition of my 20’s and maybe I never really had as much as I thought. Deep down the one thing I haven’t lost is a dream. A dream of one day writing and making a movie and being able to see it in a theater. If I can do that before I die, then I’ll be a happy camper. But at the very least, I want to keep trying to do it.

I guess what this all means for this blog, is not too much. I still plan on writing in it and hopefully more posts will happen this year. I have a list of ideas that I’d like to write about and I will try to make time to make that happen. A little bit at a time. What this means for my filmmaking and writing endeavors, I’m not sure. I know that I want to try to write a sci-fi story that I have in my head, so I’ll try to make some time to start on that. I’ve never tried one and I love that genre of film/TV shows. Beyond that who knows? I have a couple of short video ideas, that I never finished from the last couple of years. Maybe I’ll work on some of that. I want to keep my nocluefilms.com website going. I want to do more projects and am especially interested in writing right now. I guess it’s just important to keep some level of ambition. I know I can’t be gung-ho in all areas of my life at the same time and I have a lot going on. But taking a few minutes a day for me to write and work on things I love is important to do.

As far as no clue production news, I guess this blog is it right now. Thanks for reading my blah blah blah & general ramblings. I’ve added new twitter and facebook widgets to my blog to help you stay up to date on even more of them. Hopefully more are on the way soon.

need to catch up

I'm going to try to post a bunch this week since I've been MIA from the blog. I've been pretty busy and not able to get to share my thoughts much. I've been posting to twitter though so you can keep up there too if you'd like. Have a good week! I'm going to try to post some thoughts on American Idol, Dollhouse, Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, no clue movie reviews and we'll see what else. That's the plan anyway.

Buffalo a #1 Arts Town

I read most of this info on the All Things Jennifer Blog.

This is a link to an article in American Style Magazine website.
Direct Link to more about Buffalo in same article

Here's a link to an article from the NY Times that lists Buffalo as one of the Top 44 Places to Go in 2009!

Finally, one last link: National Trust for Historic Preservation Names 2009 list of America’s Dozen Distinctive Destinations

Go an enjoy Buffalo people. There is art, theater, green space, water access, decent movie theatres including old gems like North Park Art Theater, football, hockey and much more. I've been visiting a lot this year due to some family issues and it's always a pleasure to be back home. It's more than just a snowy city folks. Spring/Summer/Fall is a great time to visit if you're not into the snow.

If you're in the area, spend a few days and experience North Tonawanda, Erie Canal and Niagara Falls. I hear Brad Pitt was just there, so why not you?

video camera bites the dust

It finally happened. I got a good run out of the machine, but today my Canon ZR10 bit the dust. This is the camera that we shot chase: cut short with and that I used for all my personal video camera usage and editing etc. It was a tough day, but I figured it was time to move on. I hadn't been using it as much and I've been thinking of getting a new camera so I can try to do some HD work etc. I ordered a new Canon HV20, which is still mini DV, but it is capable of HD. I needed a mini DV camera, because I'm working on some new videos that I haven't transferred to my computer yet to edit. I should probably get a bigger hard drive for video too, but I'm going to wait on that for now.

Good bye ZR10. Rest in peace. Here's a few more photos. Sorry some are out of focus. I was a little distraught.

Forgive me for not posting in awhile, but I've been super busy at work, traveled to see my family a couple times, been a little lazy, my niece came to visit me and I suffered a slight case of the blahs. But I'm back and working on new video content. I know that I've said that a ton of times in the last year or maybe more for that matter, but I'm serious. I hope that you watch it and find it entertaining. It may not always be a high quality video that I churn out, but it will be something. My camera is due to arrive this week, so I hope to give it a spin and fire up Final Cut Express and see what happens.

until then, enjoy the blog. I'll be posting a bunch in the next few days.